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Staging Nightmare

October 17, 2011

While I understand, and as a realtor participate, in the heightened media-induced obsession to 'stage' properties for sale using home furnishings that are 'aspirational' (though, at urbaneer.com, we prefer to implement 'Style Enhancements' which are less contrived and more personable - click HERE for an example - ), sometimes the staging effort is executed all WRONG! In fact, there are occasions where staging makes the attempt to showcase the property worse!

Case in point.

I was recently showing a two bedroom semi-detached house downtown east which had been completely gutted and renovated to the 9's (with permits - yea! Click HERE for a past post on why this is important). While the main floor was a little too fancy pants for my buyers' liking, the second level bedrooms were an unhappy contrast and disappointingly lack lustre in their presentation. To start, the unflattering fluorescent lights bulbs in the ceiling 'Tit lamps' were one finger-wagging No-No. Their blinding blue-green light rays were so discomforting I was obliged to exclude them from my photograph so I could more effectively bring to your attention a most hideous attempt at window dressing.

However, before I show you the failed window dressing attempt, I can't pass by this mini-rant.

Do not EVER spend the $15.99 required at Home Depot to buy this monstrosity of a flush-mount ceiling lamp that looks like a recycled 60s jelly mould or poor copy of Marie Antoinette's breast. Better to forgo installing a fixture altogether and let the buyers' imagination serve them. You save $15.99 and your house has a better chance of selling. Kapiche?

This is what I'm ranting about...

urbaneer hates tit lamps

EEK! Plain and simple, this is wrong. The light this fixture casts isn't flattering to your ceilings, your walls or your face. It will show all the cracks even a proper facelift can't hide. Promise me this, k?

Now here's what today's rant is really about....

urbaneer flipper rant 

urbaneer flipper rant

Can you believe these draperies (let alone the Pepto-Abysmal wall colour)? Some how the staging company convinced the Seller of this house that placing the curtain rods at ceiling height will provide an illusion of a bigger window. In the top photo the draperies look like they should be on some burlesque theatre stage. And in the next photo you can tell a debate ensued on placing the curtain rod just a squeak lower than in the other room so the draperies, which are too short, hang just to the top of the baseboard. As if somehow this would 'save' them embarrassment. GOLLY! This is the equivalent of wearing pants cinched high around your waist so they rise above your cankles.

U have Cankles!

It was a sad day in real estate when I saw this.

~ Steven

PS. Did you know urbaneer.com offers property owners our Style Enhancement Service as part of our listing package? Click HERE to see an example of our work!

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